Just over two months ago, I set out on a new, inspirational path to help my aspiring writer self attain some success. Not only dear readers are you a big part of my jigsaw puzzle, and I am so deeply honored when you cost, and return and leave such wonderful comments, but some of those pieces are all about me. I know too well how easy it is to forget to stop, breathe and smell the roses. I put so much on my plate that I want to do, must do, and that sometimes leaves my soul a little empty. So thank you, for coming for that cup of coffee. I hope that we are sharing ways to step back a bit, and view life from a bird’s eye view (no pun intended for those who know me and my crazy cockatiels). We all need to learn to distance ourselves from the manic daily stuff that is life. This can be difficult when we pressure ourselves to accomplish the biggest and brightest things. Let’s make sure we remember that it’s the little things that matter most. When we start building our lives around our own needs, to be proud of our accomplishments, this is what we need to remember. So in case you sometimes forget what it’s all about, (Yeah, I’m guilty), here are four ways to maintain a great attitude, and create a kick-ass life you will be proud to call your own.

1. You need to set your own life compass. Instead of pointing North, think of your compass as having positive points in the distance. It will give you plenty of obstacles, sure, but if you keep your true north at positive attitude, those little setbacks become learning opportunities. Negativity will breed a feeling of victimization and toxic anger within your soul. A black heart is never a good thing. We need to grow from out experiences, and move beyond the despair of our missteps. In general we tend to find reasons to validate our actions, and the. We look for facts to support our beliefs. You can live a bazillion different lives based on that perspective.Stop for a minute. Find that comfortable spot inside and think about how you see the world. Whatever it is you see, is always your choice.im choosing to see the golden road open ahead of me. There will be setbacks, rejecting and bad stuff, but the rewards and successes, well, they will always be worth it.

2. Right now, this very minute, what are you thinking about? How are you perceiving life today? And if you voiced these thoughts out load, right now,, what would that say about you? What you think, you become. I think I am an author, an artist, a mother, a wife. And I am all these and more. Furthermore, what you say, you eventually do. And I will eventually have that published novel, all in its own time. The more you tell yourself something, and the more you believe in yourself and the wonderful things you are capable of doing, the more likely you will follow through with whatever it is you want to do..“I can’t” means you are not committed to yourself, and you will eventually stop and drop the ball. “I will” means you eventually will. So positivity, think like that little engine, and you will crest the mountain.

3. Having set goals is really important. You wouldn’t go on a road trip without a map (or GPS) – you have an idea where you’re headed. So too, you can plan the route to your life and to your own well being and success. Ben Franklin said, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Grab a notebook and start planning. What is it that inspires you? Plan ahead for your big adventure. My plans are varied and sometimes weird but I know that eventually, or I hope and believe, that in time, I will accomplish much of my list. It’s not a bucket list per se, but more of a guiding map to where I see myself now, and where and who I want to be in the future. At some point, I will need to take some actions, but I will be able to weed out what is unessential. I may never get to Machu Picchu, but I will most likely write my opus, finish that sketch and be inspired by the longer meditations I am learning to love.

4. Raise your bar, set some expectations and some boundaries. Nice guys or gals don’t always have to finish last. Don’t be afraid to say NO, it’s your time and effort and your life. Sometimes friends and family can be over needy and this becomes a toxic, vicious cycle that affects every part of your life. It affects how you feel, how you act and often makes you feel overextended and unable to function. Say NO, it’s OK. And you don’t even need to offer any explanations. Hold people accountable for their words and actions. We let ourselves be victims and allow ourselves to be walked on. It stops NOW. What you allow is what will continue. If you let people to treat you poorly, the. It kind of means that is the way YOU WANT to be treated. Grow a spine, and pull up your self-esteem by the bootstraps. Immediately. Now be mindful, find a quiet space, and let the inner peace of being free to be your true self overwhelm you. A meditation might even be nice right about now, or if you’re more actively inclined, a nice run or hike.
So get busy and start now. Why are you still here? Go on, pick a positive perspective for your world, be outspoken. Say, think and believe what you want to become, and you will. Make a plan and then reduce your toxic, negative influences, and show people what you’re made of and that you have an incredibly intrinsic (and expensive) worth. We are all gemstones waiting to be mined. So get out there and start living your kick ass, amazing, creative, mindful and wonderfully individualized life.
See you on the dark side – of the coffee, that is. ☕️😉

Motivational / Inspirational

Published!

June 17, 2016 hefurst 3 Comments

By now dear readers, I hope you’ve seen my social media. Though I didn’t score one of the top three honors, I did manage to get published in a literary magazine! So exciting! This is the first time I’m seeing my work published anywhere other than my own site since I was in college! Hooray for me!

OK, so I entered this writing contest. The topic was rock bottom, and it couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time. I mean, everything in my life has changed, and even though we’re on the upswing, it was a pretty rough year.

All of us authors worked together in a special workshop the week prior to the deadline, critiquing and editing and proofing, etc. and now it’s over, congrats to the top three..,they actually got paid. (Not much, but chicken feed is chicken feed) to all the others like me, WE ARE PUBLISHED! Now that’s something to write home about.

To see it online at the literary magazine, access it through this link: http://www.wordhaus.com/rising-r/

Please enjoy my short story:

Rising from the Rubble

By Helene Furst

I lay awake each night, watching the darkness morph from deep navy blue to pale heather gray. How did it ever get to be this way? I never once imagined my life would be a constant, depressing descent. I had dreams, desires, and the world at my feet. Now the universe is dragging me by the heels into a vortex, spiraling out of control faster than I can keep up. My mind replays my life on an endless loop, like the old reel to reel projectors of my youth. Somehow, some unseen force has clipped the film and spliced in an alternate reality, and it’s going to kill me.

Raised by an overprotective but incredible woman, I believed I could conquer the world. She encouraged me to create, and I did. I drew the feelings we shared as two spirits, one adventurous and one more grounded. I penned our fears, or mine at least. She kept me warm, safe and loved, and I kept her company. My mother worked all year so I could have the best life had to offer. I rode horses for years, never wondering about the expense. I took art classes, piano lessons and wrote furiously in leather bound journals. I knew I was not in the same league as others in my private school, and I inhaled all the education and extracurricular activities as if I needed them to breathe. I understood that I was different. I was never included in their parties or vacations to ski resorts and Europe. But I was better off. I had a world open to me with my library card, camp and a road trip every summer.

My mother never let me know our situation. Proudly she planned events, went to work and scraped together a lifestyle I enjoyed. I was never jealous of those rich girls, and I never knew we were at poverty’s doorstep. Road trips meant silly songs sung off key, special times with mom, as I dragged her through kitschy monument. We ate lots of peanut butter sandwiches and drank thermoses of lukewarm water. It was the 1970’s and all seemed normal. We slept in small roadside motels with well lit parking lots, clean sheets and bathrooms. I didn’t want, because I had it all. But that all changed.

I moved on, got married and began the lie that will be my downfall. Insomnia forces me to relive it all, wondering where rock bottom really is, because it seems I am falling deeper every day. I wake and go through the motions of adoring mother and dutiful wife, while inside my mind there is futile screaming. I know where I am is toxic, and I need to move on, but I am frozen by fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of what I do know and fear of failure. I feel that I have failed myself. I was to be great, but I have made no indelible mark on the world.

I did not marry well. I should learn to listen to my gut more often. In this sad union, I walk on eggshells to please you. I am not Galatea to your Pygmalion, and that is the root of my sorrows. You charmed us all with your early successes and popularity. You fooled everyone, but I learned to live with your rage. The volcanic eruptions of anger misdirected, until you had nobody to blame but yourself. You have been reactive, never taking action on you own, and without living your dreams, you have reached your lowest point.

Your story began as a privileged first born. Your looks, your wealth and your brain helped you climb all the ladders of the world. But you misstepped. You did what was noble, what felt right. In helping your parents you harmed yourself. No longer the shining star, you took me and ran away. We struggled in a strange harmony until they followed us. Forcing us back into their world, we lost it all. Once you were the hero, and they cost you a marriage, a life of success and wealth. Once more they pleaded and now you have once again lost. They can’t see the truth, and you allow them and your feelings of inadequacy to destroy you, and us. We lost it all, the house, the shop, our trust and faith.

Rock bottom for you is here, but I will climb from the ashes. You live in fear, frozen by threats of financial attack, physical attack by a madman and you have given up. You tell me you’re damaged. You can’t see how you got here, how you dragged me along. I am working to rise above and soon depart. My children know angst and fear and hatred because you have shown them the horrors of your world. You feel you have reached your sad end, but I am just beginning to break free and finally live. My future no longer tied to yours, I lie in the darkness counting my strengths, my little victories. I watch the green digits turn every minute, planning my escape. I have seen the bottom of the pit and I am not ready to loosen my grip and fall. We are living on life savings and prayers. I envy your blind faith, but cannot trust it any longer.

Our current story reads like a bad B movie. Successful shop owner put out of business by national chain. Obsolete and over twenty, the job market swallows your resume like Jonah’s whale. You have lost faith in yourself. You underestimate your abilities, your worth and forget protocol. In helping those less fortunate, you anger a lunatic. Unbeknownst to us, he is a schizophrenic who has created a Stepford Wife. He threatens us and all we hold dear, but it is you he seeks. There is no connection or rationale, and we live in fear. Unable to focus, you are falling. I can’t save you anymore, but I will save myself.

See you guys around! My purple pen beckons.

Have a great weekend…

your almost famous blog writing author! ❤️❤️

Awareness, Motivational / Inspirational

Today Is Not Over Yet

June 16, 2016 hefurst 1 Comment

I think it’s one of those days.

You know the one. When everything just seems to go wrong. And you feel like you need a do-over. Nothing horrible really happens, but all the same, it sucks. It’s that morning where there isn’t enough coffee to wake you or get you out that funky mood, and all these teeny annoying things happen all day, poking at you like a deranged octopus. Insignificant as they may be, they seem so much more overwhelming; your day spirals downward from there.

This is one of those days.

I woke up with a slight headache. You know the one that pulls behind your eyebrows? OK, it wasn’t really a wake up since I spent the night talking to the monsters in my head. I decided to hit the snooze button on my clock radio (two or three times, that gives me almost 25 minutes to get it together) and now I don’t have to face the day yet. This of course means I will be rushing my kishkas out to get ready and get the lunches made, feed the birds, walk and feed the dog, and maybe slug back a cup of joe.
It won’t work. I’m just too slow. We will be late, and the kids will be complaining.
Finally, I get everyone where they need to be, go back home, fire up the word program and pour a fresh coffee. I breathe. Maybe it will be OK after all.
Nope. My other half is having a rotten morning as well, and he needs to share. His misery is all encompassing and he needs to vent. Loudly. My train of thought is gone as he talks at me, to me, complaining about his luck being in the bog. (Non-Brits, Google it). I know he isn’t on track, and there are lots of changes to be made and hard decisions to consider. But I am trying to create my own path.
I tune out and refocus. A few deep breaths and I start typing again. Yay! There will be a post today! And then the Internet conks out. I decide to just grab my purple pen and write old school. He is gone. Completely out of his mind with displaced anger at the internet provider, the management company, and indirectly at me. So now it’s afternoon . And I am over it. Done.
Finally he leaves for work. Over-dramatically, in my mind I wonder, “could this day get any worse?”Big mistake. Because it did.

I decided to flee the negativity and hide out at the library. Free working wifi, a considerable a out of quiet and privacy, and of course, books. I spend some time there, check out, and I have a fine. Only $0.40, but it manages to make me angry. And I had no one to blame but myself. I sigh, paid up and checked out. And walked out into the rain. Seriously? I felt like I was in a bad movie.
I finally made it home without incident, and the schizo dog decides to jump me. Books falling and stubbing my toe, I bend down to pick them up and whack my head on the washer. No, I don’t know how. I realize by now you are in hysterics, thinking this is like an episode of The Three Stooges, but it’s my life. I have decided today is ruined and there was no point in trying to do anything now. I let the birds out, and lie down for a nap on the sofa.
Crazy dog curls up at the end, licking my toes and the cuckoo chicken flies over to smuggle. A random thought pops into my now overworked and overwrought mind. “Today is not over yet.”

I shift my thinking and try to think about the last meditation session I had. Breathe, just breathe, clear my mind and focus on the nothing and the everything. I’m still not sure I get it, but I’m trying, and suddenly I realize there was still plenty of time to make something in the day count. After all, it is only the afternoon.

So, I decide on a fun dinner, pull some pizza dough from the freezer, and open the iPad. I check my online publishing site. I have six new followers and three awesome critiques and raves about my latest piece of prose. Suddenly, the moment comes, and the words start to flow. All thoughts of Toxic Tom fly away and before too long, I’ve penned three new poems, two blog posts and the sun is peeking out from behind the clouds. Deep breath. Clear my mind. Maybe today isn’t so bad after all. At least not for me. How profound and motivating those few words were. It’s only the afternoon. The aftermath. It helped me totally turn my day (and attitude) around. But not before a good rant session with my bestie. Earlier, I could have chosen to give up on the day, but instead, I made a choice. I found a way to make the rest of the day decent if not perfect. I allowed myself to create something that was meaningful for me, and all by reminding myself that the day wasn’t over yet.

My day went from being the worst day ever to one of my better days of the week, even though I couldn’t classify it as all wine and roses. Quite obviously, this is not a one time occurrence. I am learning to use this mantra to create amazing and mindful results.I love being able to remind myself that “today is not over yet” as a mantra to turn around a shitty day, because it makes me mindful and contemplative. It frees my mind to get me back to where I need to be, for me. Not for anyone else.

So next time you are having a day, try to remember there is still time to flip the day around.
“TODAY IS NOT OVER YET.”

It is a powerful reminder to find ways to make something good happen. Maybe you can squeeze in a half an hour at the gym, or write that ew article, or draw something. Maybe you need to bake some muffins. It’s a gentle tap that redirects and says you don’t need to wait for tomorrow to make life count.

It reminds me to be grateful for each day, no matter what. I am usually able to cull a list of unusual things to be grateful for. Keep watch on the Facebook page for random lists. If I can’t make myself be grateful,because I need to give myself over to the nasties for a while, at least I can inspire you dear reader, at least a smirk?
This mantra reminds me that I have a choice. When I am melting down and crazed, and I’m not having a good day, I have a choice. I can decide what happens to the rest of my day and my attitude from that moment on. I can choose to throw in the towel, or I can make a conscious effort to try to find a way to make today count. Even if I only write a paragraph, some times, as per Anne Lamott, that’s all you can do.
Today has many more hours. It’s not over at 8:30 am or 11:00 am, so I have to jog my memory, remind myself to do something meaningful. It is so easy to fall into the habit of living on autopilot, and I am learning through mindfulness and meditation to re-evaluate the minutes of my life. I have to be intentional and make the time count, because that’s what really matters at the end of the day.

So basically friends, no matter what catastrophic, crazy, melt down moments happened so far in your day, there’s still time to turn it around.

A few mindful ways to bring the peace back from the chaos:

Do something kind for yourself. Do something you love that you don’t usually make time for; take a break to breathe and have a cup of coffee.

Do something thoughtful for someone close to you.simply telling someone that you’re grateful for them, or bringing them a much needed snack, drink or hug. It’s a win-win for you both.

Do something productive. This oils be catching up on email correspondence, making appointments you’ve put off, or cleaning out your junk drawer.

Do something out of the ordinary. Something mindful and meaningful just for you. Something that makes you feel like you’ve made the rest of your otherwise cruddy day count in a positive and productive way.

Know dear friend, that whatever time you are reading this, whatever kind of day you’re having, there is always hope for sunshine.

The day isn’t over yet.

Motivational / Inspirational

The Easy Path to Happiness

June 14, 2016 hefurst Leave a comment

It’s so easy to get caught up in the craziness of life, and we forget to be happy. I know, that sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. We are so busy running errands, getting to work, chugging our caffeinated pick me ups and making dinner, that we forget to stop, be mindful and breathe. Happiness is truly a state of mind, and we can all achieve this blissful state of self love and smiles by simply creating a routine for ourselves. Forget the regular grind, this schedule’s for your perculating self way, deep inside. Here are my five best bets for tacking those blues and making them turn from navy to bright sky blue.

Sleep. This is my first key hint for you to finding happiness in your days. Seems like a no brainer, right? I must list this first dear readers, because without sleep we are all just cranky creatures. Honestly, if I don’t get a good night’s sleep, I feel sorry for myself and I am snippy to anyone who crosses my path the next day. There is not enough of my favorite brewed beans to change my disposition on these days, so consider yourselves warned. If you don’t feel physically at your best, you can forget about being happy. You will end up focused on the sore crampy legs, the aching back and burning eyes (yup, I know you’ve been there too my friends) and there goes your sunny disposition. How can happiness begin to seep in, if you are too exhausted to be open to it?

Next, let’s look at creativity. Not to brag, but I know everything about this. (OK, maybe not everything.) Laying it all on the drafting table, so to speak, I am trained in fine arts. Really and truly. I’ve always doodled and drawn on everything and anything, you should see all my school notebooks and even the envelopes I write phone messages on. My portfolio sits in tact in a closet under the stairs, (yes mom, I know exactly where). Trees are a biggie for me. Love them, there’s so much detail, each one so personal. And yes, dear readers, I am a tree hugging fool. I remember loving Cray-Pas as a child and I think that must be a precursor to my love of charcoals. Or perhaps, I just like getting grungy and dirty and immersed in my work. I’m also a writer. (obviously). All my birthday cards and letters home used to sound like flowery crap (beg pardon). I was the ultimate Hallmark card writer before the cards were so awesome. I am publishing poetry online in a prolific sense, saving up my prose for the anthology in my future. I’ll keep you posted. Promise. I love cooking, especially muffins. The flavors will tell you my moods. My kids particularly love the chocolate based ones, and Gluten Free, of course. The Positive Psychology People have stated that “as long as you are growing, making something original, putting out more than what you started with, you are creating.” You’ll know whether or not you are creating by how fulfilled, happy and inspired you feel afterwards. On a personal note, (yeah, I’m serious), my ideal free day is a trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY, just leave me by the impressionists. Vinnie and I have a special history (Van Gogh for those of you not art inclined). I might take notes on the paintings or the people I’m observing. (They usually end up characters somewhere) . Then I’ll see you at closing time for a frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity’s.

Creativity should be followed by curiosity. I am inordinately curious, that cat has nothing on me! I am a complete and admitted bookworm, always immersed in a well thumbed book, or scrolling on my Kindle app. I consider myself a lifelong student. I love to learn new things, and it’s a big part of who I am. I am impatient, so that means I never wait around for anyone to teach me how to really do anything. Not always a good thing, as my husband will attest. Impulsivity comes with my impatience. I believe that if you want more out of your life, you have to invest more time and effort in yourself. Stay curious about your life and your goals, and you will transform your personal relationships and feel deeply happily satisfied.

Which leads me to love. (You knew I couldn’t possibly leave this out.) We are taught early on to love by our parents, extended family and maybe even by a pet. That simple human being who has success and everything money can buy, but no one to come home and share it with, is quite a sad specimen. They may seem happy to the world, but inside, they feel lonely, incomplete and sad. I spent last night comforting my friend who is so lucky in everything but love. She knows it is her, pushing away the “good ones,” but she is sometimes inconsolable. She is now considering a dog so she won’t be alone when she comes home at night after a backbreaking day at work. Just something warm and alive to cuddle. We are meant to love. I believe it starts with self love. Without loving ourselves (yes, I’m going all Leo Buscaglia on you here) – truly loving our selves, there is no way we can love anyone else. What does loving oneself look like, you ask? Nourish your body with exercise, healthy foods, good sleeping patterns and being socially active. Learn to set boundaries to maintain your self-respect, and know when it’s time to walk away from toxic situations. Be kind in your self reflection, it builds strength and character, and self love.

How about helping others? It is definitely mindful and creates endorphins and feelings of satisfaction and happiness. Stop making tsk tsk noises. You know I’m en pointe here. helping others, giving of your wonderful self, is a bonus spirit lifter! When you help others, you stop paying attention to yourself.mfor just a bit. The constant looping movie reel in your head of what your problems are is suspended, because you are focused on the person you are helping. Time Magazine featured an article recently that stated “scientific research provides compelling data to support the anecdotal evidence that giving is a powerful pathway to personal growth and lasting happiness.” So how can you do this? You can volunteer to work with physically and mentally challenged youth like my son did, or offer your time to tutor in subjects you’re good at in after school programs. Sometimes, it’s all about just being there for a friend in need. Lots of options folks.

What have you found to be the secret to your happiness? I’d love to know your secrets. Feel free to share in the comments.

Motivational / Inspirational

Unusual Things to Be Grateful For Today

June 10, 2016 hefurst 1 Comment

It’s a hazy, overcast and rainy day. It begins with the usual doldrums, early alarms, carpools, the mundane existence of a suburban mom, but that’s where it ends. As I sip my first cup of heavenly coffee in solitude (I know, how did I do that?) I quietly thank my Creator for all the wonderful gifts I have in my life. I’m a pretty spiritual person, and taking in the meditation (originally a challenge, but you dear fans know I’m committed here) I have found some crazy things to be thankful for in my life. This is by far a condensed list, but here it is dear reader. I hope it makes you think, smile and reflect on the goodness in your own life.

First, I want to spit this one out. I am grateful for anger, anxiety and even the guilty feelings I have. By embracing my darker side, I can be a better me, and that what we all want, right? Ordinarily, you count your blessings, your luck, your health, etc. but focus for a moment on those bottom feeding fears and things that crawl in your gut making you mad. These very powerful emotions often overcome the better feelings that we are always thanking God for bestowing upon us. These powerhouse feelings of no perfect angst and fear actually help you to become a better version of yourself, and so, be thankful. Anger often fuels creativity, Heaven knows my poetry bleeding from my pen is prolific when I’m peevish. Guilty feeling spark the whole self-improvement thing you’ve got going on. Think about that donut you scarfed alongside your coffee. That guilt is going to take you an extra 20 minutes at the gym, thereby bettering your health and fitness goals. Anxiety is more complex, but the feelings associated with it, worry and self-doubt, they cause you to shoot for the moon. You will aim higher in order to prove yourself and achieve your heart’s desires.

Now before you go calling those men in white coats, I am thankful for insomnia. I am serious. Night owls of the world rejoice and be grateful, because your teeny tiny dreaming state signals higher intelligence. Thank you Dr. Spock (yes, a little geeky Trekkie) for showing me how to be rational and logical with a minute of sleep. In all honesty folks, the London School Of Economics published a study that those lucky people with above average IQ’s (they’re saying over 125) tend to go to bed later, and to function on less sleep (and more coffee) than those with IQ’s in the normal range (120).

Speaking of coffee, logically, I must resort to chocolate. I adore it, dark, light, milky white. Give me a Godiva Ballotin and I am the happiest human out there. Of course a Hershey bar works the same way, and UK peeps, those Yorkies and Freddos just kill me with pleasure. But am I grateful for chocolate? Yes and no. I am grateful for chocolate with quinoa! Yes, you read that correctly! So you think I’m a total kook now, but quinoa is super healthy for you. Most of my family balks at the mention of this protein packed delight no matter how I serve it. However, some genius human has found a way to put it into chocolate! And very delicious chocolate , I might add. It is sublime- dark rich , high quality, organic chocolate with a Rice Krispies texture. It tastes almost like a Crunch bar, but better. I must give thanks here to my amazing friend Ilene for turning me onto this decadent delight. I keep it cracked up in tiny pieces in a baggie in the freezer for emergency fortification. Alter Eco has given me a childhood thrill for my adult palette. And yes, this goes really well with coffee. ☕️ Cocoa bean, coffee bean … It’s all happiness in ground, baked, roasted and brewed deliciousness.

OK, hugs. These are my personal favorite. My very dear friend Crystal will tell you, we are both born higher score. Big, hearty, whole body, squishy bear hug huggers. A life without hugs is a sad and lonely one indeed. A bibles home is an unhappy home, and though I claim my mother smothered me from childhood to adulthood, I am grateful. Hugs from people you care about are the absolute best things ever, and they’re free. By the way Crystal (and I know you’re reading this) beware, I’m heading your way soon, so warm up those huggy arms!

I am very grateful for color in the world. Some of you know that even though writing is my truest passion, I like to dabble in art. Though mostly in charcoals, when I had the time, there was nothing better than a fresh palette of Winsor and Newton Guache or Acrilycs and a large clean canvas. I admit, black is still my favorite color, but I know that color has power. Bright colors make the world pop and they can even change your mood. I mean, who can be grumpy in a sunny yellow room? Besides, a black sunflower just won’t make you feel sunny and warm, so color is essential, and I am thankful to be able to see it, live it, feel it, taste it.

I mentioned that today was a particularly overcast day. Rain has been on and off, and I actually love it. I am grateful for rain. Not the light, misting, drizzly and drippy kind, but the full on fierce, someone just unzipped the sky kind of rain. Tempestuous and cleansing, there is nothing better than the fresh, dewy smell after a good storm. Rainy days are comforting and I appreciate being able to cocoon myself in the house, curled up in comfy sweats, coffee in hand and a journal or a good book. Maybe even a nap. The thunderous roaring rain is like a lullaby.

Alright then, aglets. You are now racking your brain, what is an aglet, did she mean to say eaglet? Nope. You too are grateful, I’m sure, for aglets. Most of you have no clue what these are, but if you ever had two crazy cockatiels that roam free in your house, you learn pretty quickly. You know those little plastic tubes in the ends of your shoelace? Yes, that’s right, the hard, plastic tip. That my friends, is an aglet. My free range chickens (as I like to call them) have waddled across tiled expanses to literally chew off and decimate the aglets in our shoes Just try relaxing a trainer after the aglet is gone… uh huh…nearly impossible. So I am grateful, dear friends, for aglets. I did say this would be an unusual list.you were warned.

Last one for today lovelies. I am grateful for YOU! Super sparkly grateful to you, my dear readers who return as virtual friends to visit. You read my blog, probably shake your head a few times, and sometimes, just sometimes, take me seriously. I’m so thankful, and I love it when you comment. It’s like we’re enjoying a coffee together. So to those of you sharing your own inspirations with me, thank you! You are awesome! To everyone else, thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll join the coffee break conversation too.

Tying up some loose ends, I want to thank each and every one of you. There are so many more things that we are all grateful for, many of them quite unusual. and that’s really cool. I hope you all have some different things to be thankful for in your life and on your journey to happiness. I hope that I inspire you, and I thank you in advance for coming back (subliminal messaging 😉😃)

I’d love to hear about some of the uncommon things in your life you are grateful for. Feel free to share, and the weirder, the better!

Motivational / Inspirational

How to Have a Happier Morning

June 7, 2016 hefurst Leave a comment

Some mornings you know will never get off the ground. The coffee pot breaks, the kids are screaming and the car won’t start. We’ve all been there. We have all melted down, but science has proven several theories on how to push these horror show mornings aside, and start happy.

You’ve heard the saying “I woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” correct? Well it turns out this may have some truth in it. Turkish researchers did a study alongside a sleep institute, and found that left side sleepers do not fare as well as their right side counterparts. For those of you who are tummy tunnelers or flat on your back wheezers and snufflers, this is not for you. Though it might pay to take notes. In the research control, multiple positions were studied. X Ray data showed that those sleeping in the left side had unnecessary pressure being placed on the spleen and the stomach. The discomfort was not highly noted. However, these late night lefties experienced more nightmares and interrupted sleep. The study of the other control group revealed better rested, happier individuals. They claimed to have more peaceful, mellow dreams. Nightmarish fiends beware- this chick will be rolling to the right. Refreshed and positive with the 5 a.m. wake up? Count me in!

So, now you’re awake. You’ve made it to the calm, clear morning, and you’re ready for some movement. Exercise. If you’re going for cardio, get outside! We all know cardio is important and exercise is beneficial to our overall health. Here’s a little juicy factoid I bet you didn’t know…even 5-10 minutes of exercise (even walking and yoga) when performed outdoors in nature, is a total mood enhancer. Those happy hormones kick in and you can’t help smiling, even at yourself. I can honestly vouch for this. I walk every day. Mostly because I hate the gym and I’m lazy, but I need to keep moving. I tend to walk in the early morning hours or the late evening, when it’s quiet outside and I can hear the birds and feel the breeze. Yes, I know, you’re thinking I live in Florida, there is no breeze, but you’d be wrong friend. I find these times conducive to leisurely walks to soothe and calm my beat up soul. Sometimes I take psycho dog with me. When the house starts to feel crowded with screeching birds, barking dog and the tension of teens threatens my sanity, I slip out for a stroll. Nerves relax, lungs open, air in, angst exhaled. I feel happy; and I recommend this to you dear reader. It’s a no cost quickie self esteem booster.

So, now you’re feeling happy and you skip off to the coffee shop.☕️ Fantastic! Sit down and strike up a conversation. Talk to someone, anyone.
The more time you spend face to face in the company of others, the happier you become. Now this does not negate phone or Skype conversations. But the more social you are, the better off you’ll be. In the journal of Psychological Science*, they documented the differences between shallow, happy go lucky meetings, and the merit of small talk versus profound social interactions. These would be the in depth conversations full of personal reflection and disclosure. Well being was assessed using existing scientific indexes and questionnaires, as well as by a special monitoring device. 79 undergraduates were given a device called an EAR (Electronic Activated Recorder). They wore these for four days, and every 12.5 minutes, a 30 second sound byte was recorded. The researchers were able to compile data in when people were alone or speaking with others. The final result? Happier people spend less time alone and more time chatting and socializing.

Another way to have a happy day, is to be a little nostalgic. When you sit and recall happy memories, it not only alters your present mood,(you’ll know because you will be cracking that silly grin – the one that has folk wondering) but it also makes you feel hopeful and positive. Positive people are successful people. It’s the difference between moping about like Eeyore or bouncing around like Tigger. Truthfully, I’d rather be a Tigger- a bouncy, flouncy, wonderfully happy soul, mindful of naught but staying happy and cheering others.

Last but not least buy yourself flowers. I have been doing this for years. I am an admitted sunflower nut, so if there’s a cheerful vase of sunshine visible while I am sucking down my morning beans (ground,, roasted and French pressed of course) – well, I am less anxious about my impending day of anxiety. (I know you all know what I’m talking about!) Flowers, since olden times, have come to have deeper meanings. Planting bushes with roots meant you could settle in and grow, blooms on your hibiscus bush signal new flowers and promise. For me, the sunflowers are a promise of happy, sunny and hopefully calm day.

Nothing too profound here my friends, but a few simple ways to inspire your day. If you need someone for that chat or cup of coffee, well then, I’m your girl! So stretch your legs, have a think on the lawn in the Lotus position or just call an old friend. Be happy. Be kind. Be caffeinated.

* Source: {ncbi.nlm.nih.gov}

Motivational / Inspirational

Love Me, Love Myself

June 2, 2016 hefurst 3 Comments

I’ve been a fan of Leo Buscaglia’s since tenth grade psych class. His book, ‘Living, Loving and Learning,’ left a strong imprint on my teenaged psyche; I mean, how many people tell you to love yourself, and to hug random strangers in elevators? If you’ve never heard of Leo Buscaglia, get to the library quick and read this book. His funny, witty outlook on life will change you for the better, promise. I recommend it highly, and you will see, that Leo was way ahead of his time. He has a recurring theme about mindfulness (I know – don’t say it!) and about how navigating the many obstacles of life, we need to hit pause, breathe deeply and practice loving. Mostly of ourselves.

So dear readers, what did Leo know? He knew that by long others and showing them kindness comes naturally. More so in fact, than loving ourselves. Most of us are quick to offer friendship, and to accept others with their many flaws, so why are we so hard on ourselves? Loving yourself is important. After all, we spend an inordinate amount of time with ourselves, shouldn’t we at least like ourselves? We all need to learn to appreciate our inner strength and beauty, since liking the person that you are can greatly imoact your happiness. Now I know, again you’re thinking I’ve lost my mind, but think about how positive and mindful we can be when we accept and love the person that we are, faults and all. With practiced gratitude, we can appreciate the person reflected in the mirror.

Human nature makes us our own worst critics. Let go. Be patient with yourself. You are an incredible and interesting and multifaceted person. (Yes, you really are!)

Let’s begin with re-introducing ourselves to the totally awesome, sparkly, creative, amazing person that we are; think for a moment about your passion. We are all driven by desires that stem from the passions we have, for art, business, or long walks with your dog. Let go of your frustration. Stop worrying about where you think you should be in life, and be grateful for the imperfections that led you to where you are now. Nobody leaks perfection, and each of us is interesting and unique. Once you accept this, and are thankful for your individuality, you may suddenly find that you actually LIKE the person staring back from the other side of the looking glass. All your flaws, mistakes…these are what make you, well…you. And you are fantastic! (Have I told you that dear reader? ) we are all special, unique and one of a kind, and we all arrive at our destination the way we are meant to, so lighten up.

Now that you have met yourself, spend some time alone with the incredible person with whom you have just become reacquainted. Spending time alone is a great way to reflect and refresh. It’s about being mindful of the person we are inside, not the person we present to the world. It’s a way to step back, and learn who you really are, in case you got lost along the way.

There are lots of things you can do on your own to increase your happiness factor, and love your uniqueness. Take yourself in a date. Spend time meandering the lined galleries of a museum or the loaded shelves of the livery. Learn something new. go to the craft store for supplies and inspiration. Hobbies are a great way to express yourself, boost self confidence, and to appreciate and love phenomenal you.

And now, my friends, I need to revisit that topic of toxic friendship. Some people, even well intentioned ones, can make you feel awful. These Negative Nellies make you think less of yourself, and cause self doubt and low self esteem. Learn to walk away. Remove these toxic people from your social circles. They aren’t helping you to grow or to like who you are. Loving your unique, one of a kind self with all your quirky habits will make it easier to dump the wastrels and move ahead to peacefulness and happiness. It’s much easier to enjoy life when surrounded by people who cherish and genuinely care about you.

So my friend, who are you? What do you love? To truly love yourself, there needs to be a fiery passion. A hobby, travel, or something else that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Try new ventures, travel somewhere new, taste new foods, get lost in the bookstore; learn about things you never heard about before. The more diverse the things that comprise who you are, the easier it will be to love yourself.

Last, but certainly not least, be courageous. Trust yourself and your instincts. Be brutally honest with yourself, always. Learn to admit to yourself how you really feel about situations and events in your life. Listen to your gut. Only you can change where you are, which changes your happy and helps you love your awesome self. Live with what feels right. You’ll make better decisions and won’t do anything to intentionally hurt or abandon your true self. You will live freer, love better and thank yourself, the wonderful, loving, amazing human that you are (I know, you forgot, but it’s ok.)

Alright, let’s end back with Leo. He had the right message all along. Love yourself, love life and love others. Give love, get love. You are worthy of great love and happiness, and you are lovable.

With love, hugs and coffee kisses until next time. 💋☕️

Morning Beans Blog

Monthly Archives: June 2016

Four Ways to Create an Awesome Life

Published!

Rising from the Rubble

Today Is Not Over Yet

The Easy Path to Happiness

Unusual Things to Be Grateful For Today

How to Have a Happier Morning

Love Me, Love Myself

Java junkie writes about life and its quirks