Tag Archives: positive thoughts

Motivational / Inspirational

Stress Bunnies Under The Bed

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Bunny bewareI am a complete a stress bunny. Always. Even when you see me relaxed with an iced coffee poolside, my shoulders are so tense my ears disappear. Something is always pushing at me to want to do better, to be better, to be more. And I’m terrified that this is it. I thrive on pushing myself, thinking about the endless to do list and how I am going to leave my mark in the writing world. I also tend to be restless. I have to go. Anywhere, somewhere, to do something, only sitting still when I need a nap. I am often bored, frustrated, and trying to find happiness outside myself. I know dear reader, you all feel the same. Is it Mommydom? Fear that we have lost our selves? Fear that this is our self? Lost and stressed, we can all overcome these feelings, and hopefully relax enough so we can hear the sounds of life and happiness around us.

We all want certain things in life. Security, love, success, and happiness are among our main objectives , however we decide and define these for ourselves. We all live trying to find happiness. But, as the saying goes, “Man proposes, God disposes.” Sometimes our disappointments can be overwhelming and really shake us to our cores. They immobilize us. But when times are great, we forget those troubling thoughts and enjoy every moment on cloud nine. But that high life doesn’t last, things turn, and we crash through the atmosphere, landing face flat on the ground. We learn to protect our fragile egos by not getting our hopes up about anything. But then we live a sad, unfulfilled life.

So why do we push ourselves so hard? Besides being our worst critics, we keep ourselves overloaded so we don’t have to face all the emotions and thoughts swirling tornado like in our minds. The little things, that become F5 category storms and fuel stress. Not that I can eliminate my own stress, yet, but I am trying very hard my friends, to toss this toxic thinking to the wind. Life is more enjoyable, and happier if we release stressful thoughts. So let’s get off the roller coaster, and try to achieve some inner peace and end some of our stress. (Stop laughing. I am truly working on this ‘opus’ myself)

imageLearn to lighten up, take it easy on yourself. We actually line ourselves up for that roller coaster. We look for the biggest thrill, and if it doesn’t happen, we are thoroughly disappointed. If the expectation is met or exceeded, we are elated and thrilled to the very center of our being of course, being human, we are emotionally tied to the outcome and BANG! There is an even bigger electric charge. Every situation offers opportunity, even if it’s for our own personal growth. Expect that nothing will be as expected, and be ready for the surprise endings. Learn to appreciate good outcomes and to accept the challenge of the unplanned and the negative. Some people have a fear that bad things lie in wait. Let go of fear of what might happen and experience life as it unfolds.

Keep in mind, that life is always mutable. Nothing is ever permanent, and there will always be alternate paths we can choose. When life is great, we hope it continues forever. When we fall down the rabbit hole, we can’t wait to get out. When we feel stuck in a bad situation it’s hard to remember the times when life is good. Seven years ago my husband had a massive heart attack. The CICU doc had to jump start his heart, and it took five years before he was able to really feel almost like his former self. It changed everything. We walked on eggshells, changed diet and exercise routines and worried about every little pain that pinged in his chest. But although his heart is stronger now, we had to refocus. Nothing is the same. We had to step back and detach, and rework our lives to meet the new standards. We were both paralyzed, not knowing what was in store was terrifying. But each day we hoped that the arterial disease would stop progressing. The doctor told me my husband is a living miracle. I believe he is stubborn enough to have actually willed the bad juju out of himself. So nothing is permanent (except the regulating meds) and we forge ahead to new and brighter horizons.

Breathe. Learn to stop over-evaluating every detail of your life. Life just is. Learn to relax and greet it with a big fat smile. I am learning to live by just being in the moment, and not dissecting how everything directly affects me. My hubby says I’m like an ostrich with my head in the sand, but honestly, thinking ahead in short bursts gives me a more direct sense of accomplishment, and greater peace of mind. I am learning through mindfulness not to judge every minutiae of my day, and it helps me to stay focused and positive. As a writer I am by nature an observer, using the skill of observation helps me distance myself, be less judgmental and critical of my situation, and to focus on transitioning to a better place. Observing instead of judging helps clear up reality. Shift gears in your mind to find a positive aspect of your experience to show something good that is happening. For example, when I was still adjusting to the realization that my hubby was in the hospital, I was overwhelmed with daily life. My good friends came to see me and brought meals and companionship. I was amazed that some of the people I hardly knew, cared about what was happening to my family and to me. It made me realize the value of compassion, empathy and helping others in times of need.

Life is a Highway
Sometimes, we overlook the road map. Life puts some road signs up to guide you, don’t look for the scenic route. Let the “Universal GPS” guide you. I heard a great example of life in a speech a few years ago. Life is like a river. We can either go with the natural flow, we can head upstream; or just hang onto a random tree limb to stay put. When we go with the flow, life carries us along logically, and peacefully. If we head upstream, our arms get tired trying to cross the current and stay afloat. If we hang onto a tree limb, we’ll risk being scraped and bruised and possibly even swept away if the current is strong enough to break the branch. The moral of the story is to go with the flow. Children of the sixties and seventies, you all know this to be a great way to go. By all means keep reaching for your dreams, but be on the lookout for signs that your chosen path is off target. If you’re struggling too hard, try a different swimming stroke.

Stress bunnyPerhaps, like me, you have far too much on your plate for one person to handle. You end up completely stressed because your to do list did not get done. Unfortunately this is a truth for many of us. Breathe. Deeply. Count to ten. Remember that stress slows you down because you worry about about catching up or the new job, etc. Look at the big picture. Focus. Everything will get done in its own time. Baby steps, one thing at a time. You will see that things start coming together with less effort on your part. You will flow with that natural current.

Every day I make lists. Long, impossible to do lists. Then I edit them. I make it simpler, and make a note that the most important things To Dohave to be at the top of the page. This ensures that I get to those important things, which likely won’t happen if I keep reacting to all the daily distractions. I am still a work in progress, but I’m amazed at how much more I can accomplish, with less stress. Bottom line folks, ending your stress is in your power, you can breathe now.

My husband’s wake-up call that taught me to stop stressing so much, appreciate life, and live it to the fullest. To do that, I had to slow down and learn what a gift it is to live in the moment, and to be open to whatever life brings.
Like any major life changing experience, it showed me how strong I can be. For my family, my husband and myself. It was a reminder that terrible, hard situations are only temporary, and there is much to learn from them. Life can’t always be just the way we want it to be. But if we go with the flow, and are mindful and conscious of our decisions, things might turn out better than we expect.
A peaceful, mindful life is far less stressful and makes everything more possible and enjoyable.

Awareness, Motivational / Inspirational

Four Ways to Create an Awesome Life

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Piece of the Life Puzzlw

Just over two months ago, I set out on a new, inspirational path to help my aspiring writer self attain some success. Not only dear readers are you a big part of my jigsaw puzzle, and I am so deeply honored when you cost, and return and leave such wonderful comments, but some of those pieces are all about me. I know too well how easy it is to forget to stop, breathe and smell the roses. I put so much on my plate that I want to do, must do, and that sometimes leaves my soul a little empty. So thank you, for coming for that cup of coffee. I hope that we are sharing ways to step back a bit, and view life from a bird’s eye view (no pun intended for those who know me and my crazy cockatiels). We all need to learn to distance ourselves from the manic daily stuff that is life. This can be difficult when we pressure ourselves to accomplish the biggest and brightest things. Let’s make sure we remember that it’s the little things that matter most. When we start building our lives around our own needs, to be proud of our accomplishments, this is what we need to remember. So in case you sometimes forget what it’s all about, (Yeah, I’m guilty), here are four ways to maintain a great attitude, and create a kick-ass life you will be proud to call your own.

My compass1. You need to set your own life compass. Instead of pointing North, think of your compass as having positive points in the distance. It will give you plenty of obstacles, sure, but if you keep your true north at positive attitude, those little setbacks become learning opportunities. Negativity will breed a feeling of victimization and toxic anger within your soul. A black heart is never a good thing. We need to grow from our experiences, and move beyond the despair of our missteps. In general we tend to find reasons to validate our actions, and the. We look for facts to support our beliefs. You can live a bazillion different lives based on that perspective. Stop for a minute. Find that comfortable spot inside and think about how you see the world. Whatever it is you see, is always your choice. I’m choosing to see the golden road open ahead of me. There will be setbacks, rejecting and bad stuff, but the rewards and successes, well, they will always be worth it.

2. Right now, this very minute, what are you thinking about? How are you perceiving life today? And if you voiced these thoughts out load, right now,, what would that say about you? What you think, you become. I think I am an author, an artist, a mother, a wife. And I am all these and more. Furthermore, what you say, you eventually do. And I will eventually have that published novel, all in its own time. The more you tell yourself something, and the more you believe in yourself and the wonderful things you are capable of doing, the more likely you will follow through with whatever it is you want to do..Choo choo Charlie “I can’t” means you are not committed to yourself, and you will eventually stop and drop the ball. “I will” means you eventually will. So positivity, think like that little engine, and you will crest the mountain.

 

3. Having set goals is really important. You wouldn’t go on a road trip without a map (or GPS) – you have an idea where you’re headed. So too, you can plan the route to your life and to your own well being and success. Ben Franklin said, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Where are you going?Grab a notebook and start planning. What is it that inspires you? Plan ahead for your big adventure. My plans are varied and sometimes weird but I know that eventually, or I hope and believe, that in time, I will accomplish much of my list. It’s not a bucket list per se, but more of a guiding map to where I see myself now, and where and who I want to be in the future. At some point, I will need to take some actions, but I will be able to weed out what is unessential. I may never get to Machu Picchu, but I will most likely write my opus, finish that sketch and be inspired by the longer meditations I am learning to love.

Victim of Birdshit

4.  Raise your bar, set some expectations and some boundaries. Nice guys or gals don’t always have to finish last. Don’t be afraid to say NO, it’s your time and effort and your life. Sometimes friends and family can be over needy and this becomes a toxic, vicious cycle that affects every part of your life. It affects how you feel, how you act and often makes you feel overextended and unable to function. Say NO, it’s OK. And you don’t even need to offer any explanations. Hold people accountable for their words and actions. We let ourselves be victims and allow ourselves to be walked on. It stops NOW. What you allow is what will continue. If you let people to treat you poorly, the. It kind of means that is the way YOU WANT to be treated. Grow a spine, and pull up your self-esteem by the bootstraps. Immediately. Now be mindful, find a quiet space, and let the inner peace of being free to be your true self overwhelm you. A meditation might even be nice right about now, or if you’re more actively inclined, a nice run or hike.
So get busy and start now. Why are you still here? Go on, pick a positive perspective for your world, be outspoken. Say, think and believe what you want to become, and you will. Make a plan and then reduce your toxic, negative influences, and show people what you’re made of and that you have an incredibly intrinsic (and expensive) worth. We are all gemstones waiting to be mined. So get out there and start living your kick ass, amazing, creative, mindful and wonderfully individualized life.
See you on the dark side – of the coffee, that is. ☕️😉

Motivational / Inspirational, Tips for writers

When Your Imaginary Friends Stop Talking

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Writer's Block

When Your Imaginary Friends Stop Talking (a.k.a. Writer’s Block)

I’m staring at the blank page before me. The red margins and aqua lines mock me. There are no words. I can only think of the coffee that is finally circulating through my system, hoping to awaken not only my physical self, but the sealed boxes in my mind. I am mute. Some days, like today, I cannot find the words. All my monsters and imaginary beings have abandoned ship, my inspiration silent. I know that all writers go through times like these; the frustration is horrible. What is there to do? I have a few secrets dear readers, and I am not afraid to share. Once in a while they fail, but often those imaginary monsters wake up with an opinion or an idea, and then I am off, pen running faster than the word train in my brain. (ha, I rhymed!)

So first off, let me assure that slamming my head against the wall, crunching paper into tight, angry balls and watching them pile up, and just dropping my weary head to the page do not work. The paper is silent, the pen dry. Prioritize. There are so many ideas cluttering the crevices in my mind, that none of them get air time. I find when I’m all cramped up like this I make lists. I start with groceries because that is easy. From there I expand into vacation spots, and trees (I know, but I have a thing for trees- they’re majestic and tall and curved with stories- but that’s for another post.) Which writing tasks do I need to accomplish first today? An outline, a random paragraph, perhaps some character development? When all else fails, that new medium for writers, social media, can grab a little time in the spotlight. There is always an inspiring picture for Pinterest, a quote I love to post on my Facebook page, or just simply checking my e-mail for writing tips from others. Sometimes a spammy ad in my inbox turns on the light and wake up my little monsters, and the voices start, the pen flies across the page,( unless you favor a keyboard) and Voila! no more writer’s block.

Next, I create some goals. I usually set mine up for the week, penning them into my calendar, but often, they need daily re-vamping. Writers need to be flexible, because you never know what opportunities present themselves. After all, writer’s block occurs mostly from our own self criticism. Sometimes I am so hard on myself that all thoughts are blocked and cannot move from the mind to the pen. (I’m old school first.) Most writers are a fickle bunch. It is imperative to have a goal, because otherwise let’s face it, we would be clicking on pins and quote all day. I never list my goals as simply “write” or “story edit.” It is far less daunting and more attainable if my calendar is broken into smaller, more do-able tasks. For example ; write a paragraph for current story, outline blog post, post to Facebook page, pin my last blog, etc.I also schedule myself time away from the pen and keyboard. A walk, coffee, meditation, lunch with a friend – these help keep the ideas fresh and flowing and the inner demons talking.

It is also important to remember my focus and my purpose. When I really get stuck, I try and remember why I write. I write to express myself, to share with and motivate others, to make people feel something, to educate (for other writers and bloggers?), and to let those demons have their say. All of this is both cathartic and rewarding, especially if you get published.

Another important thing to remember is that I am human and fallible. Some days will be truly unproductive, and I won’t meet any of my goals. And that’s OK. Sometimes we all need to stop, recharge and reboot.It is not an excuse for lack of productivity, but a brain boost. (See Play Hooky Like A Pro).

This next trick is MEGA important. Step outside and live your life. The random bike ride, self talk while on a quiet walk, adventures with friends and family – these are your stories. All writers are wired to see the world a little differently. We see in words and phrases and worry about the endings. We see stories everywhere we go. And yes, if you do something to inspire, anger or humor me, you might be part of a story. Call it my disclaimer, but I will never publish your name. Promise. Stepping outside my routine changes everything – there are more stories, more writing. Sometimes, I write for my eyes only – and that is alright too, as long as the words keep coming.

Last, but certainly not least, is to reward yourself. Break up daily tasks and goals and give yourself a pat on the back, a snack, a power nap (my current favorite) after you complete your goals. Any kind of incentive, (coffee, chocolate, a walk) that helps you complete your tasks make a pretty good chance of those imaginary friends opening up and starting to talk again. Then, with the incentive in sight, your words just might flow out a little faster.

I am a writer, as are some of you dear reader and friends. Writer’s block is so common for all of us. What are some of the ways you use to break free and get the words flowing? Share in the comment section – we can uplift each other and write on!